Try Johnson & Johansens Oil of Mango putrifying lotion - rub it vigorously on the affected area until numb, cover in saran wrap and leave to ferment. Multiple applications may be necessary depending on the size of the hole. Move to Montana and change your name to Jake. Grow a mustache and start collecting wheel-barrows. Wear only yellow T-shirts. Buy a 1977 Lincoln towncar, leave the left blinker on and brake for no apparent reason on the freeway. If the condition persists send $99.99 to:

Dr. PopeAlien Home Remedy Kit
c/o PopeAlien.com
#353 - 2906 W. Broadway
Vancouver, BC V6K 2G8