Ottawa, Ontario Canada

Located along the scenic rideau canal, Ottawa is a wonderful place to spot canadian government buerocrats, take in a convention or two and purchase sandwiches heaped high with meat.

Ottawa is the capitol of canada and like most capitol cities Ottawa is very clean, but being canadian is even more so.

Ottawa was founded in 1818 by a consortium of Swiss pharmacists looking for a good time. Ottawa was originally part of the United States but was traded for Alaska during the goldrush of 1849, this is widely considered to have been an unwise trade.

Ottawa has numerous world-class hotels, all of which inexplicably include a full kitchen. If you are traveling on a budget you can try one of the local youth hostels, or if you have dirt on a canadian politician you can use it as leverage to extract an invitation to stay at his or her home. Canadian politicians are known world-wide for their polite and accommodating attitude.

Ottawa is served by a world-class train station, a nearly world-class airport, a few shabby buses and a pneumatic air-powered underground tube system. Car rentals are available as well as taxi service, but because Ottawa is only 10 square blocks in size you will likely be able to walk everywhere.

Ottawa is a 'dry' town not unlike certain baptist counties in Texas. This means that alchohol in any liquid form is prohibited by law but alchohol in solid form is OK. Ottawa is famous for its Wine-leather, Whiskey-pops and vodka pancake merchants.

Here are a few choice spots for a good night out (from 'Ottawanting - a borderline alchoholic vistors guide)

* One Fingered Hanks [354 Elgin St.]
A dinner-theater theme bar with 'authentic' saloon feel. Watch dusty unshaven men fight with chairs while you enjoy a jar of Hanks famous whiskey-paste. Not suitable for children.

* Ratsopholis [Access grate 23b, canal ramp 2]
Fine dining by the light of a work-lamp. located in a unused sewer access chamber near the canal, Ratsopholis can be difficult to find but worth the effort. World famous for their brandy-soaked rat shanks with champaign mayonaisse, they get quite busy in the evening and reservations are recomended. Not suitable for children.

* Puddin'town [Bytowne Mall food-court]
A family restaraunt featuring pudding-based dining; beer pudding, cider pudding, sherry pudding, gin pudding - lots of options here, bring the whole family and try the all-you-can-eat pudding buffet. Free coloring books for the youngsters. Not suitable for children.

Review by:
Pope Opinionated II