POPE ALIEN . COMICS

SITE INDEX:

Reviews:

VIDEO GAME REVIEWS:
Airforce Delta Storm for the Xbox
Dead or Alive 3 for the Xbox
Grand Theft Auto 3 for the Xbox
Project Gotham Racing for the Xbox

AUTOMOBILE REVIEWS:
2001 Honda Insight
2001 Pontiac Aztek
2002 Buick Rendezvous
2002 Chevy Avalanche

MOVIE REVIEWS:
A lot like love
Alexander
Going Through Splat
King Kong
March of the Penguins
Memoirs of a Geisha
Millions
Motorcycle Diaries
Rebound - Martin Lawrence
Skritek
Star wars episode 3 - Revenge of the Sith
Sympathy for Lady Vengeance
the Beautiful Country
the Chronicles of Riddick
The Mexican - Brad Pitt, Julia Roberts 2001
The Seven Samurai
The Volatile Woman
The Year of the Yao
War of the Worlds

Advice:

•What was that film called I saw ages ago with a little boy with a one horned goat that he thought was a unicorn?
•which way should i wipe, or is it best not to wipe at all?
•I just realized I cannot afford to run for the Republican nomination in 2008, when are the next elections for the job of Popealien and how does one put his Texan size hat in the ring.
•Will smoking 4 packs of cheap cigerettes every day give me an awesome growly voice that the girls will go wild for? Seriously. I need to know.
•how many teeth are you supposed to have?
•why does the moon appear green
•HOW MANY TEETH ARE WE SUPPOSED TO HAVE?
•When i go to bed at night there is always trace amounts of crumbs in my bed and i don't eat in my room. So where are the crumbs coming from?
•what is the most favorite ice cream in the world??
•How many teeth do you have in your mouth?
•does a lumberjack off?
•Could Evilo Black take on your highest authority in a cage match?
•Who Is That Guy That's Always Peering Into My Window?
•What if blood was flammable? Would this affect the art of war?
•how can i get my extremely unatractive friend nick a girlfriend
•I can't think of anything funny to ask you about. Any ideas?
•why is ice cream so good?
•Whats the speed of dark?
•The little voices in my head are telling me things I should do. I've narrowed down five seperate voices. Considering there is only one satan, and three aspects to god (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) who is the final voice?
•If a tree falls in the forest, but no ones around to hear it, does anyone care?
•Beans.
•How many feet would I have to jump from Wisconsin to Mars?
•I have one eye, a peg leg and really bad hygiene...how can I find a mate?
•WHY THE POPE HAS A SIT AS A PRINCES, USES A DRESS AND HE IS NOT MARRIED?
•Do you think that the new willy wonka is HOT? Do you think he is made out of candy? I want to gnaw on his ear...
•Why is it every time i touch myself Jesus points a shotgun at my head?
•Are famous people better, as in 'just plain better'?
•Why does rootbeer make me chafe?
•The Horde aregetting a new race, called the Blood Elves. No one knows who the new rae will be for the Alliance. So my question is: Will the people of plantet Pope-Alien be making a stop in Azeroth on their never-ending galaxy wide search for the mother?
•Every time I sneeze dogs start gathering around me. What do they want?
•I live in Ohio, what should I do to entertain myself? Keep in mind I live in Ohio.
•Humans taste like chicken...I don't like chicken. Lil' Help Please.
•How can I watch tv without having to watch the commercials all the time?
•I dislike my shadow, and avoid it at all times. This has become increasingly difficult in recent years. How can I persuade it to leave?
•Why are my tomatoes not growing?
•Can poo kill you???
•I have a hole and someone named a city after it...what should I do?
•Does my life suck because God hates me, or because I'm stupid?
•How do i become the Grand Inquisitor of the Catholic church?
•Why are children so small?
•Is it a sin to eat ABC (already been chewed) gum
•Nobody likes it when I yell "FIRE!", How can I yell it and still look cool?
•Why won't my boobs grow as fast as my friends'?
•What matters more - The art or the audience?
•When I look down my pants, why is there nothing there?
•Can i be the pope if i bribe him with 29p and a cheese sandwich or some lovin??????
•I am standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door. What should I do?
•Are kittens flamable?
•Do you believe?
•Hey, my friends birthday is tomarrow and i want to know... how should I wrap his present?
•How can I make loads of money without working?
•Can i have some belly-button fluff? i ate all mine and now i'm getting a craving. (BTW: what colour is yours? Mines a reddish, blueish, greenish, yellowish, purpleish, orangish, white.)
•I know you're down the with Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria, and since the people who read this are probably already insane, I was wondering if you could enlighten a fellow Illuminated One as to how we're going to have Pope Mach II Xtreme Edition run the show behind the shows via the 'new pope,' as I seem to have lost the memo?
•Whay do people stare at me like I'm some kind of a freak??? WHY??????
•Where did cheese come form?
•why is stinky blue cheese so tempting yet vile?
•Will you love my babies if I give them to you?
•Is the new pope the anti-christ?
•Why does cheese smell so badly?
•is the fluff around your bellybutton tasty?
•Am I the only one who got the urge for some eggs on an english muffin covered with hollandaise sauce when the new pope got elected?
•Why did the Pope drive around in that thing with the windows that looked really silly even when he had nothing to say and could have been stalked as a UFO landing site?
•Is the key to the universe the number Four ? Four dimensions, Four elementary particles, Four fundamental laws of physics, four of something else.
•Why am I at this site?
•How does a toaster work?
•can you help me catch my dog
•Where did cheese originate?
•This new Pope John Paul Mach 2™ (Xtreme edition) is all very well and good, but what is it going to do for the common man? I mean, how many of them will he/it kill/main/rob blind for me?
•Now that the Pope is Dead, what Method will Coyote, Eris, and Loki use to select the new Pope?
•Does Tim from Seattle rip off Jerkcity?
•Who declared spinach a food, and for pity's sake why?
•Can I eat the fluff found in my bellybutton? And why is it only a dark blue or black color?
•why are my tentacles so wiggly ?
•I am a robot. Beep, buzz, fizit. What is the best oil for my special robot parts? Beep, click click, buzz.
•My dog does not eat meat, just bananas and milk. Is he possessed by the devil?
•If I put a hamster in a blender and turned it on, would Jim Morrison come back to life and take over the world?
•Will bonghits fix my makefile?
•Is all cheese schizophrenic, or just kitten flambe? Balloons?
•Is peanut butter a good radiation shield?
•Is that true that the Pope is two dwarfs?
•Do you think I should buy a sheepdog?
•Should my kneecaps be thicker than my skull?
•Is that your natural hair colour?
•How does a potato-peeler work?
•How does osmosis work?
•How long should I sleep at night?
•When will the computer fad end so I can stop wearing this one?
•I'm thinking of plastic surgery, my doctor says I need the works from liposuction to breast implants, plus a double face lift and a major extension to my member. Like all well adjusted males in the western world, I really want to become a swan, but on what I make, I can't afford it. Should I save for the surgery or just give up on this materialistic world and patiently wait for my next incarnation? I'm hoping to come back as a butterfly.
•Where was the very first goat cheese pizza made? More importantly, WHY?
•A train leaves from Detroit going east at 30 mph. Why do my boxers ride up when I'm walking?
•I like pencil thin mustaches. alot. does this mean that I was perverted by Tex Avery?
•When the pope dies and goes to heaven, does he get a bigger hat?
•I've noticed alot of gophers gathering outside during the day, they apear to be planning something, what is it? Can gophers be dangerous and are they armed?
•how can you count from 3 to 4 when there are an infinite number of possible numbers between the two?
•Which is more useful for killing a man via paper cuts: An ostrich or an emu?
•I'm on a mailing list with a bunch of nutters. Should I treat them with disdain, pity them for being ignorant prats, or just hunt them all down and exterminate them?
•Are you going to eat that?
•Just exactly where did my career go wrong?
•If I pray, will I get laid?
•Are all Cats Gay or is it just me?
•Why won't my microwave stop yelling at me?
•Should I pray before, during or after masterbation.
•Is that supposed to bother me so much?
•How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if it had access to modern logging equipment?
•How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
•Where are my keys?
•Is Bill Gates planning to corner the Bionic Lice market?
•What's with That?
•My wife is afraid of goats, could she be killed by an overdose of insulin?
•I am afraid of goats, do I have hypoglycemia?
•Does Jesus have plans for a reality TV series?
•Is it normal to be itchy?
•How the hell am I supposed to ship all these broken 8-track decks to argentina?
•Should my shoes leave little cuts all over my feet?
•Is this the best colour for a pair of curtains?
•How does a goat work?
•Can I enhance my personality with a soft-drink?
•Do you believe in technology?
•Do I have to bring a gift to a funeral?
•Why are you staring at me?
•What do you mean "goats"?
•Did you drop this?
•What does "E Pluribus Unum" mean?
•Where did you leave my faith? My moms coming over and she's gonna be mad.
•How does cancer work?
•Can I borrow that?
•How does a VCR work?
•What is the most popular recipe for gravy?
•Should my head implode if exposed to too much radiation?
•How many days can you survive without TV?
•How does a shoe horn work?
•Why are you so mean to me?
•How does a Toaster work?
•Are wild animals dangerous?
•How many years can I expect to have to put up with this ?
•How many feet would I have to jump from Wisconsin to Mars?
•Why does Michael Jackson sell so many albums?
•Who holds the world land speed record for grave digging?
•How many pounds of grated cheese would it take to make a pizza the size of Manhattan?
•Is toast supposed to glow?
•Why dont bagels glow?
•Where do I live?
•Who am I?
•What's my name?
•Whose idea was all this anyway?
•Will I find my lovely green goat?
•Why does nobody eat gravel anymore?
•Where can I buy a bear pelt?
•Should I wear a bear pelt?
•What is the colour of joy?
•How many sins of my father will be visited upon the heads of his sons?
•Why does my neighbor scream?
•Does George Bush like Pop Tarts?
•How many marmot livers does it take to fill the British Embassy?
•Should I be happy?
•Does toothpaste cause cancer?
•Why is the sky blue? What does propane taste like? Is South Carolina older than its trees? What percentage of the world is flat? Why dont bees wear clothes? Why are socks so expensive?
•How many teeth am I supposed to have?
•What is the circumference of Burt Reynolds?

Mail:

[003] - A special offer from the Heinz Corporation
[002] - Resurrection cookies
[001] - A legal threat from McCrosoft Motors Inc.

Rants:

[008] - Slashdot poster rants about chicken and mayonnaise
[007] - Merging Napster and the Nasdaq for a robust economy
[006] - 'The Mexican' - a really bad movie
[005] - Advertising to the new demographic
[004] - End User License Agreement
[003] - Bike thieves - Saw off their legs!
[002] - A Patent to get rich off the web
[001] - A proposal to make the net safe

Ad spoofs:

- Geneto Fudes - Improving nature through bio-engineering!
- Bliss Shoes - Because ignorance is bliss
- Bagwhan Robwans center for metaphysical exellence
- Clam-trim shirt shoots - loved the whole world 'round
- Lamatron 2000 - Rocks the house shoe!